Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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