Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
