I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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