he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
