I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
