Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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