Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize