I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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