I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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