I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
