I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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