i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
