And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize