I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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