oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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