I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
