we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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