you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
