Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just pee around me
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
