I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
