I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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