My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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