I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
