No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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