May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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