i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
