I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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