it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
