If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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