you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
