weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
