What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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