I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
