I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
