do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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