is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
