he puts the penis in happiness.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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