so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
