you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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