is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
