So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
