We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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