My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
