I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
