please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize