pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize