so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
