You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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