i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
