i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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