They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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