Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
