How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
