on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
