I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
