Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize