she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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