i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
