Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
