I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The convent might be a nice break from real life
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize