Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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