How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
