i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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