my vag is so smooth its legendary
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
