dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
