Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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