how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
