just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
