I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
