there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize