No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
