it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
